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Hidden Shadows - Lorna (Part 2 of 3)

‘Fuck this. Right. Inside.’


Matt was cold. To be fair, we all were. But that didn’t matter until Matt felt it.


He picked up the bottle of champagne. Noticing it was empty, he launched it overhead across the garden.


He had the gaze of a child who had just been given broccoli instead of ice cream. He should have known the bottle was empty – he had emptied it into his glass.


‘Yep, definitely time to go inside. Drinks!’


Any sane person would stop now but Matt was well practised. Plus, it helped him. I’m not saying he needs alcohol to cope – he just enjoys a blowout. A lot. Yeah, ok. He’s an alcoholic – like his mum – but no one could ever compare the two.


I’ve been in this part of the evening plenty of times before. It is, in fact, my favourite part. The part where you really learn about people. Their authentic selves. Alcohol, tiredness and the freedom of the night’s darkness allow people to show themselves. Not just what they say, but how they deal with other authentic people. Normally, when one person acts as their true self, others tend not to – to dampen any conflict. But not our group. Not Matt. Nor Magic.


Magic is sweet and polite. He looks up to Matt so much. People see that as inauthentic. That is a mistake. He is one of the most naturally authentic people you’ll ever meet. A kind authentic. But stands by his values. People think he’s agreeable just because he’s willing to listen and change his mind.


Don’t be fooled.


He’ll only do that if you bring your A-game. If you think he’s amicable and just taken your opinion or point of view without a sightline interrogation into your facts and thought process, well, that just means he’s deemed you not worthy of the conversation. No one sees this. I do. And he is brilliant. He just doesn’t know how brilliant.


Anyway, as I said, I’ve been in this stage of the evening many times before. Which means I’ve also been in the next part – getting Matt to bed. And the next – Matt stumbling into the ensuite trying to get a drink of water.


I excused myself to go to the toilet. It’s nice to let the boys chat anyway.


After setting out his clothes for the morning, getting a glass of water for him by the bedside and turning off his alarm, I came back down.


‘Drink on the side for you, my love.’


Ah, cards. This won’t end well. We certainly won't get to finish the game. Mag is way too good at card games and, well his name is Magic, Matt is bound to accuse him of doing some sort of trickery.


As Matt threw cards at us, he went straight into it with Mag.


‘So why are you still living with your dad?’


‘You say “still” as if I’ve never left home. I moved in to help him in lockdown.’


‘Yes. But we’re not in lockdown any longer. And you need to get some space. You’re not going to make good decisions for Pipin when your head isn’t in the right place.’


‘Yeah. Trouble is Matt, living costs money. And I have none of that.’


‘Well get some. You should be in a job paying £80k easily.’


This was a compliment. But he never phrases it as one. Mag took the bullet but luckily knew Matt well enough – and was emotionally intelligent enough – to know it was intended with love.


‘It’s that simple says you isn’t it. “Just go get money”. That’s not really how the world works, Matt.’


‘Yes, that’s exactly how the world works.’


‘For you maybe.’


Matt took that bullet.


‘Why did you really move back to help your dad out? You’ve always said you’re not close. So I don’t buy it.’


This was now an interrogation.


Mag looked down at his cards awkwardly. I tried to change the subject but Matt had already noticed he had hit on something. With no thought as to how he was feeling he pushed.


‘See. There’s a reason. You use him being vulnerable as an excuse. But I’ve never been able to figure it out. Why did you move in with him.’


‘Money. It was free and I needed to save money.’


‘Bullshit!’


‘Matt!’ I had to interject.


He was pressing too hard. But I could see what he was doing and I couldn’t not know. Mag was hiding something.



***



Mag looked down, fiddling with his watch.


The awkwardness from the silence, ordered by the shock of Magic’s words, still hung in the air.


‘Why did you tell me that?’


What the fuck?


I normally know how to handle Matt’s rudeness but this? What the fuck? That’s all I could think. Mag has just been real with us. He told us something no one else knew. Because we pushed him to, but he still told us. He trusted us. And this was Matt’s response?


I can’t interject here. Matt has some work to do. He needs to pull himself together and regain Magic’s trust.


I just wanted to give him a massive hug. So that’s what I did.

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